Recently, I interviewed for an office job. Things went well, until the topic of videogames arose. The interviewer asked if I play Smash Bros. I told him yeah, mostly Melee. Then he said, "What character do you play?"

Instantly, I realized his previous questions were an elaborate ruse, and this was the real test. This compact personality quiz could make-or-break my future with the company.


I said, "I like Ness. He's a little tricky to control but I like a challenge. Sometimes, though, I fall back on Samus, too. It's always good to have that power beam charged, ya know?"

"Cool," he said.

They didn't hire me. They'll say it's because the other candidates were better qualified, but I know the truth. I was indecisive, and I tried too hard to impress rather than follow my own heart.


I have to admit, it's a good interview question. You can tell who a person really is based on how they answer. The important thing is to be confident and true. Never worry about what others think. Next time I interview for a dinky office job, I'll be ready. I'll stand proud and say, "I play Pikachu because I'm a goddamn champion!"

So, what character do you play?